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Feeling complete and utter exhaustion in early sobriety is normal. I promise you it really is . Clients say to me " But I was supposed to feel better " , and you will , but it can take time . Do not be surprised if you are totally and utterly whacked out . 

Your wonderful , amazing body , is trying its hardest to learn how to manage without its regular supply of wine , or gin , or vodka or whatever your drink of choice happened to be . 

When you are drinking alcohol on a regular basis, even if you do sleep , you are definately not getting good quality sleep. You are therefore not well rested . So when you stop , your body needs to catch up on all the glorious sleep you missed.

Now , exhaustion is not just about sleep. You might not be sleepy tired, but still feel exhausted. You may be sleepy tired but however much sleep you have you do not feel it is enough . Whatever you are experiencing , it is ok . It will pass and it will improve.

Your body is detoxing and it is working really super hard to get rid of the toxins . Detoxing can disrupt your sleep . Your body has had a shock , being plied with alcohol to suddenly not. It needs time to adjust to your new lifestyle . 

Your body and mind will adjust though and your energy levels will improve and the exhaustion will absolutely pass I promise. It will .

You can help yourself in a number of ways ;

-Drink lots and lots of water. This will help your body with the detox process .

-Eat regular meals, Eat protein with each meal and eat lots of nuts and seeds .

-Exercise , just a little , a small walk a day 

- Go to bed early . It is perfectly ok to go to bed earlier than normal. 

- If you can nap, then do . 

- And most importantly be kind to yourself . You deserve a break ,you are doing something amazing . 

You got this xx

much love Jo 

So , you have decided to do Dry January ! This is a popular decision that many people take after the over indulgence that is Christmas. 

Christmas can be so difficult for any one with issues with food , family , money or booze.

Booze is everywhere !  People drink at earlier times in the day and the term " its acceptable , its Christmas " seems to excuse all normal boundaries .But what happens when the party is over and normality returns. 

Well, people tend to go on diets, have breaks from family , reign in spending and do Dry January .

I am all for dry January , it gives bodies time to recover from a wash of red wine . It allows us to sleep better, eat better , put water into our bodies and rest .Any period of time without alcohol can only be a good thing. For some its the start of things to come, a flirtation with sobriety can become something to seriously consider in the longer term . At the very least your body gets to rest . 

Dry January can be hard and we know that those who make new Year Resolutions often do not stick to them . Indeed , according to YouGov  31% of Brits who made New year resolutions at the end of Dec 2021 , stuck to them . That's quite a high % who didn't !! I do wander if the beginning of the year , when we face the January blues is the time to make resolutions or would we have a better chance of succeeding at a different time of year . 

If you are attempting Dry January here are some top tips to help you along the way .

1/ Really obvious but do not have booze in the house 

2/ Distract 

Again it sounds obvious , but distract yourself from the noise of the wine witch or beer monster . Play a card game, go for a walk, knit ! 

3/ Move the wine glasses 

or whisky tumbler ,or whatever nice glass accompanies your alcoholic drink ,  wrap them in newspaper, put them in the cellar . If you are tempted , a glass of wine is not as nice from a coffee mug . 

4/ Drink loads of water 

Lots and lots. Your body will be dehydrated and will be desperate for you to help in its recovery . So give it all the help it needs . Drink loads of water. 

5/ Do not go on nights out if it will tempt you. 

It is one month . It does not matter. Say no . It is ok to hibernate for a month should you wish to . 

6/ Embrace each day you do not have alcohol. 

Celebrate each and every day you do not drink . Every single day is a wine. So if you manage 20/31 and you normally drink 31/31 , then acknowledge  the brilliance of this. Do NOT focus on the days you drank , focus on the wins. 

Wishing you all the very best and sending much love on my first blog of 2023. 

Jo xxxx

We all have needs , we all have opinions, wants and desires. But we get into the habit of feeding our souls with bad habits, bad relationships, unhelpful thoughts. Life might not be awful, but you might have just got used to feeling unhealthy , tired, groggy , just plodding on. 

We may think not sleeping well is the norm , feeling exhausted , irritable , a bit fed up is the norm. 

We carry on , pouring wine down our necks, saying yes to everything , accepting not being happy in our relationships. We accept putting our needs last , so instead of dealing with them , we drink them , eat them , shop them away . Only they do not go away , they just go quiet for a short while. We feel more and more put upon , less and less happy , but we are not in crisis so we continue this way . Life is too busy to challenge all this , to question it , to realize we deserve better. 

You see , you only get one life , that's it , and so many people live that one special life feeling unhappy , uncontented, with a real lack of joy of in their lives  . It is so sad. 

The course I am currently developing is just 12 weeks , to re focus , recharge , establish joy and love , get your needs met. To feel happy , content and you , once again , get a say in your life. Not only do you get a say , you are in charge of your life ! You get to feed your soul and the get your life back on track .

How about that !!!! 

Change bad habits for good ones, let go of self sabataging , release anxiety and feel the wonderful joy of being you .

much love Jo xxx

Self Soothing , self compassion and self love

As I work with empaths , I often find they have had therapy , they have engaged in alternative therapies , they had tried numerous things , all have usually helped some what . 

What I find though with empaths and sensitive souls , is often the reason they continue to struggle, they just cannot , show themselves love and kindness , the same love and kindness they show others in abundance. The empath will put their own needs to one side for that of a stranger, they will give their last penny away , they will save little energy for their husbands, wives , children as they are tending to others needs . Of course, when their husband , wife , or child needs them they will be there, but they have to be brought back from fixing the neighbour across the street first or the stranger on the bus. 

Often its taking things back to basics , an empath will often say , I don't know what I want or need , do I even know myself ? 

An empath usually needs to take it right back. Lets just start with time out , a bit of radical recharging . Taking stock , taking a breath and just being in their own company . Starting at the very beginning. Sometimes a simple morning ritual helps, setting boundaries always helps .

Often the complicated therapy work is achieved , but its the behaviour changing , the nurturing self is yet to be solved. 

Self love for the empath and sensitive soul is so hard , they have plenty of love to give , usually to others :)

Addiction and being an empath or sensitive soul is not at all unusual . 

As empaths / sensitive souls we feel so deeply , we are hounded by emotions , thoughts and feelings and alcohol can be a place of perceived comfort and escape. 

Alcohol can soften the edges of the world, soften our feelings and generally make everything a bit fussy and more bearable, in the short term. 

Empaths who have not yet learned to manage their wonderful super power and may not even recognise they are an empath can snuggle close into an addiction, trying to feed and comfort their soul and protect their energy . 

It isn't always an addiction to alcohol, it can be anything, gambling, sugar, social media , drugs , shopping . But today , in particular we are addressing alcohol. 

Alcohol is so accessible in the world we live , not only accessible , but actively encouraged. Many many people develop a problem with alcohol, or question their usage as they become sober curious , but for an empath their may be the added dimension of trying to manage other peoples intense feelings . 

When we start drinking too much , even just a small amount per day , this can begin to play havoc with our mental health , anxiety levels and mood. It impacts food choices , sleep , motivation , all the things we need to look after ourselves as empaths . 

The turning point can be the right support in place , helping the empath understand their superpower and learn how to use it. 

The reliance on alcohol can drop away as less of oneself is given away , healthy boundaries are developed and the gift is truly understood .

Sober Curious 

What does Sober Curious actually mean?

It's a term that is banded about and is quite on trend at the moment. 

Its ok to be sober curious. 

It does not mean.

- you are labelling yourself an alcoholic

- you have a problem with booze

-you will never drink again 

-you are committing to anything 

It does mean

- you are curious about what life would be like without booze or a reduced amount of alcohol 

-you are allowed to question your relationship with alcohol even if you do not have a problem with it 

So where do you start if you are sober curious?

I would suggest reading reading and more reading. There are so many good books out there that discuss alcohol and not in a judgmental way or " alcohol is terrible " way, just in a really interesting way. 

My favorite is Annie Grace, This Naked Mind. In this book Annie explores alcohol and the myths that we believe. For example, she examines, does alcohol really help us relax? Will I be boring without alcohol? Do I have to label myself an alcoholic?  

For the empaths and sensitive souls amongst us there is the extra burden of will I feel things even more deeply, and will my mind ever stop?

This is a good place to start in the long list of books that are out there regarding booze.

Listening to podcasts, can help us think about our relationship with alcohol. There are so many out there. My favorite is Sober Awkward. It's such an interest listen and so funny and sad in equal measures. 

Maybe then try and work out when and why you drink. Is it because you are an empath and highly sensitive and never figured out how to manage these feelings and this wonderful gift you have?

Is it because you are bored on an evening or shattered after putting the kids to bed. 

Notice when and where you are when you start to want a drink. Who are you with? Is it the same drink? The same person? the same day?

Then think wishes. If you could have your wish, what would you ideally want your relationship with alcohol to look like? How would that change your life? How would you be different? What is stopping you changing your relationship with alcohol? 

It's a great place to be at the beginning of the sober curious journey. Start there and who knows where it can lead. 

much love Jo xxxx

The wanders of meditation of the empathic mind 

This week I ran my first meditation group. 

It was attended by a group of like-minded, wonderful women, with a magnetic energy. Together we created a safe space to come together, share each other's energies and just be in the moment and be together. It's very powerful. 

I have been thinking so much about empaths, sensitive souls and light workers over the last few weeks as I develop a new programme aimed at this amazing group of people. 

Growing up I was always told I was sensitive; I feel things deeply. I remember there was a boy at school everyone called eczema boy, I remember befriending him and I always used to tie his shoelaces for him.

Being an empath is a delight and without the ability to use it wisely can be a curse. An empath can be easily hurt, easily manipulated, easily drawn in by the narcissist. 

There is so much I have learnt over the years, but it is only in the latter years I have reached peace with who I am and rejoice in it. I have added many tools to my box to help me manage both mental and physical health and mediation is something I will always use. 

It helps me calm and quieten a very active mind. Over time my mind has become quieter always not just in times of meditation. 

I feel compassion and love for others but now also myself. Meditation has helped me reach that wonderful place in my mind.

Meditation is a skill, it doesn't come easily, but let me assure you it is worth persevering with. For the empathic sensitive mind, it is learning to be at one with yourself, and the universe and begin your journey to find inner peace and joy.

Love Jo xxxx

This is often the first thing clients say to me. I am not an alcoholic but maybe I am drinking a bit much . 

Ok , lets explore that . I have found when a client says to me they are not an alcoholic but maybe drinking a bit too much , they are generally drinking quite a lot too much. If there are 11 units in one bottle of wine ( some have more ) , one bottle of wine per night over a week  is at least 77 units. 

Just think about that for a moment, that is HUGE . It really is HUGE .

The term alcoholic is a old fashioned term , I believe we have a culture that is an " alcoholic culture ". Just look at recent party gate with parliment and the MPS. Alcohol , cheese and wine and parties. Alcohol is embedded in the culture there. 

We use alcohol for everything, 

Had a bad day - pour a drink 

Had a great day - pour a drink 

want to celebrate - pour a drink 

Want to get through a children's party - pour a drink 

children go to bed- pour a drink 

cooking dinner -pour a drink 

We as a country are invested in this and Covid only made it worse. People who did not drink at home , now do . there was little to do in lock down and a number of us were struggling with home schooling but alcohol softened the edges just a bit. 

If you don't have to get up to get the kids to school, to drive to work , what does it matter if you drink too much. Over a zoom meeting there is not the stale smell of alcohol and you could disguise the blood shot eyes.

The number of posts I saw about wine o clock becoming earlier and earlier, joking away the damage that alcohol is doing to us. Comparing ourselves with others to justify our own drinking , " everyone does it " , " all my friends drink the same way I do " . Oh that's ok then , carry on drinking to excess , damaging your body .

But is it really a laughing matter ? I am not here to preach , not at all , but drink alcohol mindfully . Know what and how much you are putting into your body . Think about alcohol and your relationship with it. Is it really how you want it to be ?